Thursday, August 23, 2007

The most underrated supehero: Mighty Mouse


My oldest son AJ got sick on Tuesday and the poor guy missed the first two days of school as a result. We're hoping he'll be better tomorrow so he can get one day in this week. AJ loves school, so this is bumming him out.

This brings me to an important conflict in my mind. A sense of injustice unsettles my spirit, therefore I must blog about it. This morning I sat on the couch with AJ and we watched a DVD of Mighty Mouse episodes. There are actually 3 DVDs with something like 150 short 3-5 minute Mighty Mouse episodes on them. As I watched Mighty Mouse defeat "Oil Can Harry", hoards of cats, gangs of wolves, and all manner of treacherous creatures trying to oppress his fellow mice or his mouse-babe "Pearl Pure Heart", it dawned on me- Mighty Mouse has not received his due in the world of superheroes. Tell me, what can Superman do that Mighty Mouse can't do? Remember Mighty Mouse is...well... A MOUSE! Talk about a stud! Enough about the Hulk. Who cares about Spiderman. The Fantastic who? Batman? Come on, MM can eat those "heroes" for breakfast. Enough disrespectin' Mighty Mouse I say! Consider these unmatched abilities on the part of Double M:

FLIGHT - Mighty Mouse can fly, usually trailing a mysterious orange energy, which is capable of solidifying for use as a moving platform to carry other characters. He’s swift and agile during flight, able to stop suddenly, to change directions quickly, and to perform complex aerobatic maneuvers with ease...so what about the girly lookin' eye lashes...

SUPER STRENGTH AND INVULNERABILITY - Approximately the size of a normal rodent, Mighty Mouse’s formidable super strength and invulnerability belie his tiny figure. The limits of these powers are unknown (that's right, "man of steel"- no kryptonite-like weakness for MM!), but he’s sufficiently strong to effortlessly throw human-sized enemies about 200 feet and tough enough to withstand being engulfed in the blast of a building full of military-grade bombs and ammunition when it explodes...aw...poor Hulky...stop crying..afraid of a mouse?

MAGNOKINESIS - Mighty Mouse can hurl bolts of white lightning from his hands that allow him to mentally control ferrous metal objects...and, he's a killer tenor!

ATTACK DEFLECTION/REFLECTION - At will, Mighty Mouse can create an invisible deflection field that surrounds his hands, allowing him to deflect attacks or reflect them back at his opponents. To use this power, Mighty Mouse must deliberately hold up both outstretched hands and touch the attack he wishes to influence in this manner. For example, he could alter the path of a stream of water shooting from a fire hose by holding up both hands to block the water. He could then direct the stream of water in an alternate direction or cause it to “home in” on the face of the person holding the fire hose...what do you think of that Spidey? Your lame web tricks sure look whimpy when compared to the prowess of MM.

X-RAY VISION - Mighty Mouse has been seen to use a type of x-ray vision to see through oblique objects, lead is no barrier to MM.

HYPNOSIS - Mighty Mouse has the ability to stare his opponents and even inanimate objects into his command, and being a mouse of high ethical and moral standards, never takes advantage of Pearl Pure Heart with this hypnotic ability.

TIME MANIPULATION - Mighty Mouse has been known to travel through time....wait...yep...that's Batman in line to get Mighty Mouse's autograph!

Come on people, it's time Mighty Mouse gets his due! What, does his minuscule stature threaten the other "heroes"? Sure, he's not the most manly looking...and his less than masculine opera-like way of singing when he is rescuing might concern some, but give some love to the little rodent. I suspect a Marvel Comics conspiracy. DC must be in on some plan to keep MM down. I say enough! Mighty Mouse cannot be denied his rightful place atop the pantheon of superheroes. The injustice stops today.
Be sure to record your vote on the current poll...

8 comments:

jeremy morgan said...

Right on, brother! Speaking of superheroes I saw Rush last night at Sandstone. Neil Peart's solo was the single most awesome thing I've ever seen at a concert. He's got to be one of the best drummers on the planet. Geddy Lee was great and Alex Lifeson can still shred with the best of them. The sound mix was spectacular. Bass, percussion, vocals, and guitar were all balanced and clear. Awesome show!

AJF said...

I can't believe you didn't call me for that one...

What, is Neil Pert 80 now?

jeremy morgan said...

Whoa there! I emailed you way back in April that we were going and asked if you were interested...

AJF said...

I must have thought you were asking about "Mush"....sorry

William Perry Guilkey said...

I think part of it is the muscular physique coupled with the feminine face. Hard to reconcile in the mind! I'll take Batman any day (although Robin "scares me a bit").

AJF said...

youthful...not feminine. Come on...a Bat is a flying mouse, and Batman can't fly! MM can!

You must be on Marvel and DC's payroll William!

rgmann said...

Hmmm... I had you figured as an Underdog fan!

Frontier Forest said...

Did you know that the word "Munchkin" is the Russian word for little child? Sorry, nothing else came to mind?