Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Potential Balderdash definitions


Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating...

4 comments:

Frontier Forest said...

Here's a brand new one! How about the "Booze-Nazi!"
That's the guy, standing at the customs check through,in Frankfort Germany, who confiscates your booze you had just purchased on a "duty-free" flight.

JON MEYERS said...

sounds like you need to make a submission at http://www.verbotomy.com .

AJF said...

They're already submitted I'm sure...I didn't make them up. Someone sent them to me a while ago, they were the best of a bunch.

Anonymous said...

Your Balderdash definition are very creative and show not only a keen wit, but a sharp intellect.

John Fasciani