Monday, February 1, 2010

It's a sick feeling when you realize you have no real friends...

I guess I just don't get it. I'm feeling betrayed and abandoned as reality sets in.

I used to think I had many good friends and several people who loved me.

I now realize such a sense of being cherished and accepted was a lie, a figment of my pathetic imagination. Thankfully, I am convinced my wife was also deceived and therefore not complicitous in this 38-year ruse. The jury is still out on my parents, the facts concerning their knowledge have not been established at the time of this posting.

Why has no one introduced me to Nutella before now?


On one hand I am exuberant to have been introduced to Nutella very recently. On the other hand, the fact that so many have known me and known of Nutella, but have failed to introduce me earlier, makes me question the authenticity of almost all my earthly relationships.

Why people? Why?

Please, no token apologies. It's too late.

16 comments:

Zach said...

What is this Nutella of which you speak? Although if finding out leads to such despair, maybe I'd rather remain invincibly ignorant.

Shanaclan said...

Probably best thing ever to come out of Italy. Just had some on toast about 10min ago.

Reepicheep said...

Zach, I'll get you some. I'm a real friend.

Travis- it is clear now you are a poser friend...you knew...but said nothing. By the way, my jar says "Made in Canada".

nathan said...

That explains it. It's Canadian. And all your friends know your view on all things Canadian.

Reepicheep said...

Nathan, you're words ring hollow...

Woody Woodward said...

What in the world is Nutella? Some kind of new manly hunting deodorant?

Shanaclan said...

I just assumed a good Italian would know their homeland's best export. Look it up sometime, it finally gives Italians something worth boasting.

Perry said...

I don't know why your jar of Nutella is from the, "land of the north," but the spread you can now have in the comfort of either of your mancaves while washing it down with a cup of your favorite java originated in Piedmont, Italy, in the early '60s. This may explain why nobody told you about it. It's from Italy, and on a sidebar on your blog you tell the world you're 50 percent Sicilian. So, you get the connection, I'm sure. Or, maybe, everyone else wanted to keep the good little secret to himself. Next week you can preach on greed, selfishness and pride.

Zach said...

Thanks, Tony!

Travis -- No matter how good Nutella may be, it can't possibly be the best thing to come out of Italy! o{]:¬)

Reepicheep said...

I'm Sicilian...not Italian.

jeff said...

I just figured that with your seemingly thorough knowledge of culinary greatness, you'd've already heard of it.

Now that your knowledge has been shown to be lacking, I now must ask, have you ever had Taylor Ham?

Jim said...

I first tried Nutella in the mid 90s when I spent a month in Liechtenstein.

As for Nutella -- blah! I tried it twice, and never missed it since.

Rick Calohan said...

I know of it, but I never touched the stuff so I plead no contest.

innodes said...

I always thought Nutella was just for kids you couldn't get to eat real food. Kind of like Ovaltine to get them to drink milk. I just assumed you were older than that. Well, this adds a bit more meaning to the name plate on your wife's van. If you want a real man's toast spread you need to try Promite! Arrr!

innodes

innodes

Malcolm said...

It's Kobe Bryant's favorite.

Diana Lesire Brandmeyer said...

Now that you've found it, add orange marmalade and shredded coconut on top. Oh my. So good. Now I'm hungry.
I was blessed to be introduced to Nutella by my first husband who's family was from Belgium. Every time I eat it I remember him with a smile. He's in heaven now.